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Friends Before Lovers

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Friends before Lovers, seems to make sense, but so many of us forget to make it a priority when juggling life’s chainsaws; kids, work, layoffs, bills, not enough money, parents and family medical, psychological and drama issues, marital dissatisfaction and feelings of loneliness, being misunderstood. We’ve all been there; marriage needs to be a safe place for consolation, encouragement, and intimacy. I’d like to suggest three tips to help make your marriage more satisfying.

For the marathon of marriage, commit yourself to being your partner’s best friend, and behave accordingly. How well do you know him/her? When was the last time you updated your knowledge of what your spouse was thinking and feeling? Ask open-ended questions; what do you find exciting in life right now? Have your friends changed, drifted, or become a bit weird? What are your biggest worries about the future? What are our goals for the next 3/5 years as individuals and as a couple? How about asking questions that have no agenda other than connection.

Everything matters in long-term relationships. Can you tell when your partner is trying to connect with you? A bid for connection is met with a turn towards, or away and there is always a reason for a bid; can you tell when it’s to meet an emotional need? It is important to regularly turn toward a bid for connection; it will increase trust, intimacy and positive regard. I bet you do that with friends, turn toward your partner too, it’s polite! Responding positively to bids of connection, the small moments can hugely affect the course of a couple’s life, a fact that has been proven in behavioral research.

Identify those sweet moments and rituals of connection, and have a conversation about how you appreciate your partner. How do you say good-bye in the morning, how do you greet each other at the end of the day? How do you celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, how does your partner know that you love them and they are important to you? That’s a great conversation that will be refreshing to each of you. The positive loving moments that become routine will help steady and maintain the relationship when problems come up. It can be a part of your day that makes a difference in overall marital satisfaction.

We all are busy, pulled in too many directions, be nourished by your marriage, it’s the most important relationship of your life.

Published in Bucks County Women’s Journal; 2013, Susan R Hansen LCSW

 

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Susan Hansen

Susan Hansen, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Friends Before Lovers

 

Overview

WordPress has a web template system using a template processor. Once downloaded, ŠWordPress installation files have a size of about 20 MB.[citation needed]

Themes
WordPress users may install and switch between different themes. Themes allow users to change the look and functionality of a WordPress website and they can be installed without altering the content or health of the site. Every WordPress website requires at least one theme to be present and every theme should be designed using WordPress standards with structured PHP, valid HTML and Cascading Style Sheets (CSS). Themes may be directly installed using the WordPress “Appearance” administration tool in the dashboard or theme folders may be uploaded via FTP.[12] The PHP, HTML (HyperText Markup Language) and CSS code found in themes can be added to or edited for providing advanced features. WordPress themes are in general classified into two categories, free themes and premium themes. All the free themes are listed in the WordPress theme directory and premium themes are available for purchase from marketplaces and individual WordPress developers. WordPress users may also create and develop their own custom themes if they have the knowledge and skill to do so. Underscores has become a popular choice for WordPress advanced theme developers which is designed and maintained by the makers of WordPress themselves.[13] If WordPress users do not have sufficient theme development knowledge they may download and use free WordPress themes from wordpress.org.

 

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Plugins[edit]
WordPress’ plugin architecture allows users to extend the features and functionality of a website or blog. WordPress has over 40,501 plugins available,[14] each of which offers custom functions and features enabling users to tailor their sites to their specific needs. These customizations range from search engine optimization, to client portals used to display private information to logged in users, to content management systems,[15] to content displaying features, such as the addition of widgets and navigation bars. Not all available plugins are always abreast with the upgrades and as a result they may not function properly or may not function at all.[16]

Mobiles[edit]
Native applications exist for WebOS,[17] Android,[18] iOS (iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad),[19][20] Windows Phone, and BlackBerry.[21] These applications, designed byAutomattic, allow a limited set of options, which include adding new blog posts and pages, commenting, moderating comments, replying to comments in addition to the ability to view the stats.[19][20]

Other features[edit]
WordPress also features integrated link management; a search engine–friendly, clean permalink structure; the ability to assign multiple categories to articles; and support for tagging of posts and articles. Automatic filters are also included, providing standardized formatting and styling of text in articles (for example, converting regular quotes to smart quotes). WordPress also supports the Trackback and Pingback standards for displaying links to other sites that have themselves linked to a post or an article. WordPress blog posts can be edited in HTML, using the visual editor, or using one of a number of plugins that allow for a variety of customized editing features.

Multi-user and multi-blogging[edit]
Prior to version 3, WordPress supported one blog per installation, although multiple concurrent copies may be run from different directories if configured to use separate database tables. WordPress Multisites[22] (previously referred to as WordPress Multi-User, WordPress MU, or WPMU) was a fork of WordPress created to allow multiple blogs to exist within one installation but is able to be administered by a centralized maintainer. WordPress MU makes it possible for those with websites to host their own blogging communities, as well as control and moderate all the blogs from a single dashboard. WordPress MS adds eight new data tables for each blog.

As of the release of WordPress 3, WordPress MU has merged with WordPress.[23]

 

 

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